fun times.....

so i went into full panic mode last night. it's not exactly uncalled for, just wish i'd said something sooner. anyhoo, cuttin' back on the expenses. ideally, i would start working full time, but, uh, the thought of that makes me cry. (literally) i'm torn. rto asked if i've felt better off medication and i have, but i also think it's probably just a matter being able to avoid everything. but i wasn't doing so great on medication either. i know i've said it before, but after my last job experience i really don't think i can rejoin the "normal job" workforce, medication or no. i think that's most annoying, knowing i should contribute and not, because my brain is defective and nothing seems to help. i can do all kinds of things that don't bring much income if any. grrrrrr. so for the time being we're hanging onto the internet connection. i'm kind of excited/anxious about cutting the tv. maybe i'll finally get caught up on all the periodicals here. yeah right.