Saturday, June 04, 2005

found a couple more....

Verdi effect: Child continually screams.

Webern effect: Child.

RAFF EFFECT: Child becomes a bore.

JOHN CAGE EFFECT(part II): Child opens all the windows in the house then smashes musical instruments within reach while in seeming ecstasy at the sound of traffic in the streets.

DONIZETTI EFFECT: Child can't help laughing and dancing while talking about tragic events in eloquent and compassionate terms. Deeply unsettling to peers and educators.

JOHN WILLIAMS EFFECT: child starts breathing heavily and is seduced by the dark side, not necessarily in that order.

DEBUSSY EFFECT: Child murmurs and mumbles in a sensuous vocabulary that seems to go nowhere, with occasional spouts of fireworks and jazz puppetry.

BACH EFFECT: Child speaks in structurally perfect multiple voices, forwards, backwards, upside-down, augmented and diminished, solely for the glory of God.

BERLIOZ EFFECT: Child becomes a brilliant colorist, a drug addict, a stalker, and a worthless spouse.

BRAHMS EFFECT: Child develops extraordinary attachment to mother or mother surrogate.

SHAW EFFECT: Child compulsively counts, and cannot pronounce 'th's.

ORFF EFFECT: the child delights in saying naughty things that no one notices because they are too busy arguing about the real middle high German Latin pronunciation.

last, but not least...

Schumann Effect: Child develops bipolar disorder. (and dies of syphillis-ed.)